Am I Getting More Sensitive In My Older Age?

Being disabled is no fun, and is humbling after being able bodied for most of your life, but it seems there are some who don't realise that we don't choose to be disabled, that it is something that happens that we can't control, and that we don't need to be penalized for it. Maybe I am just getting more sensitive to criticism and innuendo in my older age, I'm not sure, I do know that incidents play on my mind a lot more. When I feel discriminated against it messes with my head and keeps me awake at night, especially when I try to resolve issues with places and they seem to make more excuses and treat me as though I'm ridiculous for feeling that way.

Take for instance a recent visit to a place where it is supposed to be a first come first served non appointment alternative healing office. They have a scanner that you pop your key ring card up against when you enter, which then puts you onto the computer so that you are in line to see the practitioner.

We had arrived early due to finishing our other running around sooner than we expected to, so ended up waiting about 25 minutes outside for the location to open. We'd been there maybe 10 minutes or so when another lady showed up, and about 5 minutes after that the practitioner arrived.

We continued to wait and 2 more gentlemen arrived. Finally, just before they were due to open, the receptionist arrived. When she opened the door I was the first one in and I scanned my key card, she looked at me and told me to sit and wait. Next the lady who had arrived after us scanned her card. The receptionist told her to go on back and then did the same with the two men, leaving me sitting there.

I had been needing to hit the restroom before my treatment and my husband said "go on back and use the restroom" and I said " no she told me to wait here. I've waited 25 minutes I can wait a few minutes more" at which the receptionist threw me a filthy look. Finally after the lady and the two men had gone back she told me to go back.

At that point I had asked the therapist whether there was an app that people used to check in ahead of time, because I honestly thought that the other three people must have used one outside while waiting and that I just didn't know about it. The therapist said she did not know of any app and told me just to message through the website, which I did. The response originally was that no there is no website, at which point I questioned what happened that Saturday morning. Their response made no sense.

To start with. they claimed that it was a computer error and that the computer did not put me in, which would be fine except that the receptionist was there and had seen me scan in, and if it had not gone on the computer surely she  would/should have had me scan again? And obviously she knew I was there because she had told me to sit and wait. For them to claim that the computer missed me until it had put the other three people in ahead of me kind of doesn't make sense. Are they also saying that the receptionist had forgotten that she had told me to sit in the 30 seconds before the second person scanned, and again in putting the two men ahead of me? My husband said that they probably thought that the three able bodied people would be in and out quicker than I would and that it made sense just to put them ahead of me . When I questioned this I basically was told that I was being accusatory in claiming that the receptionist discriminated against me. I did actually tell the manager who called me that I was not stupid because they basically tried to tell me that when she looked at me she wasn't looking at me, I just caught her at an off moment and maybe she was already having a bad day. The general consensus seems to be that I'm lying and unfortunately there is no way of proving that I'm telling the truth because the only person who witnessed it was my husband, I don't know the names of the other three people who went ahead of me and because of the privacy issues I'm quite certain I have no way of finding out who they are. I had hoped there would be security cameras so that I could at least prove that I was telling the truth, but no, the ones outside are only down by the supermarket in the Plaza, and there are none inside, so basically it's my word against the receptionists and obviously the company takes the receptionist's word over mine and I have just misjudged everything that happened that day and there was no discrimination meant.

This has hurt my feelings and, as ridiculous as it sounds, it plays on my mind and actually wakes me up at night. In all honesty I would never have thought years ago that something like this would worry me so much, I would have thought I would have just blown it off. I guess I've just got more sensitive in my old age. Added to which I have always been the person that doesn't jump ahead in the line, because I have been raised that if somebody else was ahead of me that they go before me.

I hate being this sensitive, and I have had to consider things deeply. I've been scheduling my visits when other receptionists are working, because I am a straight person, and when I've got something to say I will usually say it. I'm not somebody that can be nice to your face and talk about you behind your back. So basically, I'm trying to prevent an incident happening in the office that would probably embarrass and upset the receptionist and possibly end up with me being hauled away to jail which is not something that I want to happen. I am now considering cancelling my membership there because of this. I think it's far better to just walk away and find another therapist and get my treatments there, without the bad feelings I have every time I approach the front door of this building. It is definitely not helping my health when it runs my blood pressure up worrying about it. 

I have always tried to be a nice person and treat people decently, and yet it does seem that since I've become disabled I have noticed that's some places do treat you differently. I guess I should be thankful that I do not experience as much ridicule as some, and can usually laugh at some of my afflictions.

Update:  I decided that my mental health was more important then allowing me to continue to stress over something that was not going to get resolved. I cancelled my membership of The Joint and now attend 100% Chiropractic.

Tuesday Tidbits

Good morning beautiful people. Here's hoping your Tuesday is already starting to be terrific.

Mine has started well, I made it to the gym, that always makes me feel good. I indulged myself twice in the massage chair as the hydro massage bed was out of action. Afterwards I went to Publix and grabbed supplies for a nice sandwich and salad for dinner tonight, because it's so hot out I really don't feel like cooking nor eating something hot, and after working out in the heat all day I doubt my hubby would like a hot meal either. I even picked him up a nice parfait for dessert, because he deserves it.

I got some more soft pate canned food for Precious that I can mash down with extra liquid and the high calorie supplement, so as to keep him fed and keep him hydrated and his body fat reasonable. At 19 years of age he is doing very well but we just have to make sure that he gets enough nutrition as his dementia often means that he forgets to eat or drink.

I've been plodding along with my modelling, I look and can see how far I have come since Christmas with all the different buildings and accessories, but still so far to go I still have not laid any track to run the trains on. Waiting on hubby getting all of the base done for me so that I can then actually begin to put things where they go. We had a change of plans which is what brought everything to a halt temporarily. We got hubby a new garden shed so I am reclaiming what used to be my Avon building and that will now be my model building. It means extra work for hubby because I will have double the space, which will also mean that I can devote a greater area to his urban industrial and that between the two we can turn round and have some Magnorail vehicles moving as well, to make it more realistic in ways.

I also need to spend some time adorning the Manor farmhouse with the ivy, like a lot of old English houses have growing up them. It looks very realistic, but obviously is tiny and needs some meticulous positioning to make it look real.

Hope you have an amazing day. I'm hoping mine will be productive.

Monday Morning and I am Motivated

It seems of late that I have been more procrastinating then actually doing the things that I need to do and that I keep telling myself I am going to do. I get waylaid more easily. I have so many things I want to do for my business and yet it seems I go off on a tangent, I walk into a room and find 100 things to do that are not what I went in there to do. I know old people joke about this all the time but it's true.

Mark took off work last Wednesday and Thursday for our wedding anniversary on Wednesday. 37 years and we are probably just as amazed as everybody else that we haven't killed each other yet. On Wednesday we had lunch at Clayton's Deli and grabbed our pre-ordered pound cake from The Pound Cake Man. Then we kind of had a lazy rest of the day, we played with Rover outside as he was still here at that point (we had to take him home to his mummy on Friday), we caught the Australian Masterchef on the telly, and decided we like that as much as the American one if not more and that we really don't like the Canadian one very much.

We did have to take Precious to the vet as he was dehydrated and unfortunately it seems like his 19 years are finally catching hold. He had some fluids while he was there and I now have a bag have fluids so that when he needs them at home I can do them sub Q for him.

Over the next few days we caught up on a lot of things. Hubby replaced the pump in his window washer on the truck as somehow it had died. After I got my car back on Friday, he changed the oil for me, so that when I give it back to my granddaughter on Sunday, it is good to go. It does need a tune up but that's gonna have to wait for a few weeks as Mark has looked at it and unfortunately it looks like a bigger job to get to two of the spark plugs, than what he can do easily in the driveway so it looks like we're going to need a mechanic to do it for us.

He moved the chicken's day pen back where we had originally had it. We have left the grass to grow so it is a good 6 to 8 inches high and gives them plenty of greenery to scratch about in. They were quite happy to have it in another new place. I didn't move them today as the hawk was out and sometimes they don't go exactly where I want them to go, and I don't need to be chasing them around trying to catch them with the hawk hovering overhead looking for lunch.

I've just finished reading a book, Looking for Peyton Place, and it made me look on YouTube to see the original TV programs that I watched as a child without fully understanding what it was all about. I've now ordered the original book from the library. I still love to read, and when I am pedaling on my elliptical cycle it whiles away the time real quickly. I just escape into the story, into another world.

I made a sun dried tomato and basil cheese bread and it came out pretty good. Next time though, I will omit the parmesan as it came out too Italian for my liking.  I also batch cooked a brilliant beef curry. You all know how much I LOVE my curry. I did spend quite a bit of time in the kitchen but it was all good.

This afternoon I'm hoping to catch up more on my AVON. i have some blogs to write for that.

I hope you all have a productive day.