This afternoon, our beloved Gizmo has crossed the rainbow bridge

He was a character, that's for sure, and definitely "the Man" in his domain. He was a gentle soul, a pain in the butt, could be a pest, but was a gentleman through and through.

He was just a kitten, back in 2004 when we first fostered him with Kitten Action Team. He'd been with another foster home previously and they had nursed him through feline upper respiratory disease, he was very sick, and the vet had advised euthanasia, but his foster mama had said no, she wanted him to have a chance, and she nursed him through it. He had surgery on his eyes because of it, I don't fully remember why, and had permanent black leakage from this inner eyes, all through his life.

He was a tough kitten though. He took it all. For many years we had to take him for shots for the allergies that plagued him all of his 16 years or so, and then a vet told me that I could give him the 2mg over the counter allergy pills ... not that he enjoyed that experience at all. He'd gag and drip all kinds of gooey mess, for a few minutes, from his nose and mouth, requiring gently wiping it off with tissue to get it away from both so that he could breathe. Once it cleared though, he'd be so relieved and his breathing and "snottiness" would ease again.

He used to snuggle on my chest as a kitten and gently and rhythmically paw my shoulder as he sucked on my neck ...

He had a strut though, that said he was cock of the walk ... "this is MY domain" ... he thought he was a lion king.

It's hard losing furbabies, and sadly, because all of ours are older, it has been happening more and more. Since July of last year, we have said goodbye to Angel (14), Mystery (13) and Boo (15) and now to Gizmo. The only thing I can say is that they all know they were loved.

NOW I can see a difference!

When you are someone - like me - who is losing weight, neither the mirror nor the scale may alter your own conception of yourself. After many years of being a certain "way", the brain kind of still "sees" out body that way, even when outward sources tell us otherwise. Or, in the case of mirrors, we may still see "fat".

I've been happy with my numbers - I've lost over 100lbs now - and am definitely happy with my improved mobility, plus can feel the toning going on in various parts of my body BUT I honestly didn't comprehend the magnitude of my achievement until I came across an old picture the other day, from a few years ago.

This was me in 2014, it was taken at an AVON President's Club luncheon. My hubby had wheeled me in from the car, in a wheelchair.

I didn't go out much, everything was too much of an effort. Walking was very hard, and I spent most of my days in bed, other than when I staggered to the bathroom, the front door (to let the dogs in and out) or the kitchen to sit and wash dishes, or prepare food.

Throughout my home, everything was geared so that I could go from one place to another and be able to hold onto something to keep me steady.

At the grocery store, hubby would go in and get me a ridearound as I couldn't even walk into the store. I am still unsteady on my feet, without support, but now - most times - I use my walker to go into places, unless I'm having a "bad day" arthritis or blood pressure-wise and the  it's the ridearound again.

Last year, at an AVON "do" locally, this pic was taken of me with 2 of our AVON managers. I can see how much I had changed (and how much better I looked) in the face, my upper arms, and across my shoulders.

My transformation is still ongoing.

I log EVERYTHING I eat (and my meds!) on a site called Sparkpeople.com where I also have set it up to track my vitamin and minerals intakes as well. I log all my activity, and now that I am consistently using it, my time on the elliptical bicycle has gone from a 2 minute that felt like 200 struggle, to anywhere from 10-30 minutes comfortably, as I read various books. Oftentimes, my stopping is decided by my heart rate or blood pressure rising too much/too fast or my bum going numb!

I usually do from 30 - 75 minutes a day, depending on any of the above! Eventually I'd like to get to doing an hour at a time and maybe twice daily, but again, that will be determined by my body's reaction to it.

One thing that all of my health issues has taught me, is that I'd better do what it says, when it says, or else.

We still have not figured out what provokes my erratic heart rate to spike or drop periodically (I have A-Fib) nor why my blood pressure will soar into the 200s/110s for no reason, but, in being more aware of how it "feels" when my body does those things, is enabling me to better deal with them, and bring them back under control, when they do.

I am well pleased, though, with how this journey is progressing. I don't expect to get back to my "regular weight" of 140lbs that saw me through from 15 until I hit 30, but 160lbs would be nice and I'll even "settle" for 170-180lbs.

On that note, I'm just going to keep on keeping on.

Have a great day!